If Apple Ran The US Government

Uma conta de Twitter provocante. Pena é ter sido descontinuada (mas ainda podem ver o histórico). Engraçada, para fãs da Apple que simultaneamente são Liberais. Ficam alguns exemplos:

RT@iPwnM0nster@AppleGovernment what’s the penalty for jailbreaking apple products?
One-way vacation to Cuba. Guantanamo to be exact.

The @AppleGovernment stimulus package = $10 off $100 iTunes Gift Cards.

Washington Monument to be disassembled and rebuilt with 1/4 as many bricks, for a simpler and cleaner design.

President Jobs will be having discussions with Attorney General Sewell regarding this unacceptable turn of events.http://gizmo.do/qJelrn

Any Apple users caught rioting/looting in London will be stripped of their iDevices and forced to use RIM products instead.

Apple announces iInTheSky X, a revolutionary new version of the world’s most popular UAV. It completely reinvents how we kill terrorists.

No paper currency. iTunes Store Gift Cards RT @najohnson84: Will you also have paper currency that offers bills in $499, $699 and $999 amts?

 The @AppleGovernment doesn’t have its credit downgraded because the S&P is terrified their iPad supply will get cut off. Which it would.
President Jobs begins each speech by asking the assembled press to turn off their Mi-Fi’s.

Plans for a new stealth plane are found in a German bar in Georgetown.

The First Amendment is rewritten to specifically exclude Gizmodo.

Jony Ive redesigns the dollar. It’s an aluminum coin with a laser-etched Apple logo on one side and no other markings.

Any traveler with an iPhone or iPad gets to go to the front of the line at airport screening. Unless said device is jailbroken.

Social Security Numbers to be replaced with AppleID’s.

Next generation of aircraft carriers will be named after large cats: USS Jaguar, USS Leopard, USS Panther, USS Cheetah, USS Puma, USS Liger.

Income Taxes Can Be Paid With 1-Click. 1-Click is a registered service mark of Amazon.com, Inc., used under license.

No more daily press conferences. Instead, the press gets 20 minutes every 3 months on a conf. call that the President doesn’t show up to.

Fake but immaculately replicated United States Post Offices begin appearing in China.

This month all Social Security checks will be replaced by Gift Cards to the iTunes Store. Good for Music, Movies, Books, Apps, and TV Shows.

President Jobs has ultimate authority, thus averting any “debt limit crisis”. Also, spending more than you bring in is a bad way to run biz.

The American Flag is too cluttered and will be replaced by a variant of the flag of Texas. Secretary Ive says it’s “cleaner and simpler.”

Showing the iBookstore version of the Bible. http://bit.ly/qI3ydo RT@achadha1@AppleGovernment The president will swear in on an iPad.

The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter will have a precision aluminum unibody enclosure and include the ‘Thunderbolt’ multipurpose weapons platform.

The Presidential succession plan is totally secret and known only by the President’s Cabinet.

The Pentagon is being redesigned to be a perfect circle, with all curved glass, and a gorgeous courtyard in the middle with 85% more trees.

All taxes will be replaced by a 70/30 split on all goods sold.

All books, newspapers, TV shows, and blog postings must now go through an approval and authorization process. With a secret appeals process.

VP @pschiller “This year’s budget is going to be the most amazing we’ve ever created: thinner, faster and lighter than ever before.”

Por falar em Twitter, se quiserem saber como vão ser os produtos Apple no futuro, têm é que seguir esta conta!

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